The List
by What a Rubber Chicken
Summary: Riku froze. Sora was writing. And considering the way he was chewing on his pencil, he was actually thinking about what he was writing. Post KH2.


Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and all of its characters belong to SquareEnix, Disney, and a bunch of other really lucky people. 

This little ficlet came into being after a conversation about certain Kingdom Hearts characters with my sister. Two hours and three disturbing but hilarious conversations later, I give you:

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**The List**

Riku tiptoed into Sora's room, quietly closing the door behind him as he grinned at his friend's back.

Scare the Sora. Quite the fun game, especially considering how high Sora had learned to jump in the past few years. He didn't get to do it very often nowadays, since Sora had stopped falling sleep whenever he felt he could take a nap. He still took random naps, Riku knew, but his senses had gotten a lot better, and he had somehow learned to wake up if someone was near.

However, those senses didn't extend to when he was awake. Riku crept up behind him, raising his hands, preparing to poke him and yell as loud as he could. That should make him scream. Then he caught sight of what Sora was doing and froze.

Sora was writing. And considering the way he was chewing on his pencil, he was actually thinking about what he was writing.

Riku blinked. Sora never wrote. He detested homework, especially writing, and always turned in the least amount of pages he could get away with. And Riku knew they didn't have anything due for awhile, so….

"What is this?"

"WAAAAAHHH!!!" Sora screamed, jumping at least five feet in the air, twirling and striking out wildly with the Keyblade that automatically appeared in his hand. Riku blocked it easily with Way to the Dawn, which had also instantly appeared, and he bent down and snatched up the paper Sora had been working on.

"Riku," Sora gasped, trying to catch his breath. Both Keyblades disappeared. "What are you—"

"A list?" Riku read, confused.

"Hey! Give that back!" Sora yelled, trying to snatch the paper away from Riku. Riku fended him off easily, still reading the heading.

"'A List of Things I Want to Do Before I Die,'" Riku read. He blinked at Sora. "Really?"

"It's nothing, just give it back," Sora said anxiously. Once again, Riku kept the piece of paper just out of reach.

"Hang on, this sounds interesting," he said. "'Number 1: Ask Kairi out on a date.' Hmph. Typical. You'd better get on that. Tidus has been flirting with her in math class."

"I know," Sora grumbled.

"'Number 2: Kiss Kairi,'" Riku looked at Sora witheringly. "Oh, please tell me there's other stuff than just Kairi in here."

"Of course there is!" Sora said furiously, blushing, as he reached for the paper again. "Those were just the first two that popped into my head!" Riku turned back to the paper.

"'Number 3: Whack Tidus with his blitzball,'" Riku laughed. "Feeling vindictive, are we?"

"Shut up. You can't tell me he doesn't deserve it," Sora muttered.

"That's true enough. 'Number 4: Tell Selphie that orange isn't her color.'" Riku whistled lowly. "Man, you've got a death wish, don't you."

"Well, it _is_ a list of stuff I want to do before I die," Sora said, and quickly tried to snatch it out of Riku's hand again. Key word: tried. Riku held him back with one hand on his forehead.

"'Number 5: Beat Riku in a Struggle match,'" Riku paused and looked at Sora, who was glaring at him defiantly. "Aww, Roxas, I'm touched." Sora actually growled at him.

"One half of me really hates you right now," he said, shoving Riku's hand away. Riku laughed.

"Yeah, well, good luck with that one. 'Number 6: Steal Leon's jacket,'" Riku gaped. "You really do have a death wish."

"It's really cool! And it'd look good on me!" Sora protested. "Besides, I'd make sure his Gunblade was hidden too. Yuffie would help me."

"You should both write out your wills before trying that," Riku advised. "'Number 7: Ask Cloud about his parents.' Why?"

"I dunno, he kinda looks like me, especially with the spiky hair and all," Sora said. Riku raised an eyebrow.

"You both use more hair gel than is recommended by the Surgeon General. End of story."

Sora stuck his tongue out at him.

"'Number 8: Take Sephiroth's sword and stick it up his—' I'm not even going to go there…. 'Number 9: Have a video game made up based on my life,'" Riku burst out laughing. "Oh man, Sora, come on…."

"What? It could happen," Sora protested. Riku laughed harder. "No really! I met this Nomura guy the other day—"

"Oh give me a break," Riku said. "Your head's big enough as it is."

"Whatever, just give it back," Sora said grumpily, reaching for the paper. Riku held it out of reach again.

"Just a minute, I've only got a few more," he said.

"Riku…."

"'Number 10: Find out how mermaids have babies,'" Riku looked at his friend. "Do I want to know?"

"I'm just curious!" Sora sputtered, reaching for the paper again. Riku forced him back again and Sora sulked.

"'Number 11: Find out what Riku and Kairi look like in Halloween Town.' Hmm. That could be interesting. I'll bet Kairi'd be a witch," Riku said.

"Me too. Oh yeah, I forgot, I have to introduce you to Santa Claus, too," Sora exclaimed, reaching for the paper. He frowned when Riku held it away form him again. "Come on, Riku…."

"You can add it when I'm done," Riku said.

"Riku, please, it isn't finished yet," Sora said desperately. "Please???" Riku just smiled and read on.

"'Number 12: Have an... orgy?!?!' Sora, what the hell?" Riku exclaimed. Sora winced and looked away.

"Um, it could be… fun?" he said quietly. Riku stared at him, aghast. Sora sighed and held his hand out for the paper. "I told you it wasn't finished." Riku didn't move. He'd forgotten how to think. To think, Sora wanted to….

"Um, Sora, do you even know what an orgy is?" Riku asked slowly. Sora rolled his eyes.

"I'm not _that_ innocent, Riku," he said, sitting down on his bed. "I just thought—I dunno. It sounded like fun. The more the merrier, right?" Riku choked, staring at his friend. Then he stared down at the paper.

"Are you serious?" Maybe this was all some joke….

Sora shrugged. Okay, maybe not….

"Who would you even do it with?" Riku asked. Sora bit his lip.

"I hadn't gotten that far yet," he admitted. Riku blinked and looked back at the list.

"Well, if you're going to go down this list in order," Riku said, smiling slowly, "Selphie and Leon are definitely out. Probably Cloud too, especially if you find out he's your long-lost brother." Sora blushed.

"Oh damn," he muttered sarcastically. "And here I wanted to see Leon naked." He shuddered at the thought. Riku laughed.

"Oh come on, Sora," he said sitting beside him on the bed, "if you're going to have a real orgy, you're going to have other men naked. Unless," he smirked, "you're just planning on having a harem." Riku smirked at the first couple of items on the list. "So, Kairi's going to have to some competition, huh?" Sora elbowed him, blushing deeper.

"Cut it out," he muttered, trying to hide his smile.

"You planning on getting some mermaids in on this too?"

"Riku!"

"What about Tidus?"

Sora tackled him. Riku fought him, laughing.

"No really, I'm curious," he said. "You must have had somebody in mind when you wrote this." Catching Sora off-guard, he flipped them over and quickly pinned the smaller boy to the bed. "Spill. I want names."

Sora glared at him and then looked away, refusing to tell him anything. Riku smirked.

"You spill," he said lowly, pushing Sora's hands above his head and pinning them there with one hand. With one hand free now, he reached down and lightly touched Sora's side. Sora's eyes shot open as he realized what Riku was about to do. Fun Game Number Two: Tickle the Sora.

"Riku, no," Sora gasped, struggling in his grasp.

"Names, Sora," Riku said in a sing-song voice.

"All right, all right, I'll tell you! You were right, it's Kairi."

"An orgy involves more than two people, Sora," Riku reminded him, flexing his fingers threateningly.

"Um…and Yuffie!"

"And??"

"Tifa!"

Riku paused. "Really?" Sora stopped struggling to stare at him drolly.

"Have you seen her chest?"

Riku laughed. "I'll give you that one. Going for the older women, though, huh?"

"Um, well, I thought maybe Selphie…."

"After you tell her about her favorite color?"

"I'd say it nicely."

"Okay… what about mermaids?"

"Eh… no mermaids." Riku raised an eyebrow. "The first time," Sora amended quickly.

"The _first_ time?" Riku repeated incredulously.

"Well, if it really _is_ fun…." Sora said slowly. Riku burst out laughing.

"Oh man, and people think I'm the messed-up one. I'm going to have nightmares about this."

"Well, you're the one who wanted to know."

"True enough," Riku said, wiping his eyes. "Okay, since I'm already scarred, who are the other guys?" Sora froze.

"Guys?" he said innocently, as though he didn't know what Riku was talking about.

"Yes, Sora, guys. You wrote orgy, not harem. So, who are the other guys?" Riku said, smirking down at his friend.

"Umm… well, even if it's just me and Kairi than that automatically counts Roxas and Naminé in, right?"

"Sora," Riku growled warningly.

"I don't know…."

"I'm going to start making suggestions if you don't spill. And I'll start with… Wakka."

"Ugh!"

"Tidus?"

"No! Okay, okay. Umm… probably Leon…."

"After you steal his jacket?"

"No, before. I just have to wake up before he does. And hide the Gunblade," Sora said.

"So far so good. Keep going."

"Er… maybe Cloud…."

"Ah, so this orgy is incestuous!" Riku said. Sora glared at him again. Riku just laughed. "Continue."

"Er… I was thinking Hercules, because of what we learned about Greeks in history class the other day, but now I'm thinking no. He'd probably crush someone accidentally."

"Good thinking," Riku agreed.

"And, well…um…I really don't who else." Sora blushed furiously.

Riku grinned and leaned in closer to his friend. "Don't I get to make an appearance?" Sora gaped at him, flushing even brighter red.

"I…um…well, I didn't know if you'd want to," he stammered.

Still grinning, Riku brought his face just a few inches away from the other boy's. He could feel Sora's harsh breathing, feel his heart racing beneath him. He leaned in so his lips hovered just above Sora's for a moment, before moving down and breathing hot air on Sora's neck, feeling the boy shiver beneath him. Then he sat up.

"Could be fun," he said, smirking at Sora, who was staring at him, flushed and out of breath. Without another word, he tossed Sora the paper and walked out of the room.

Sora slowly sat up, blinking and trying to catch his breath. His hand came up to brush the part of his neck that Riku had breathed on and he shivered again. After a moment, he glanced down at the paper and grabbed the pencil he had dropped earlier when Riku scared him. He crossed out Number 11.

"Vampire."

Sora collapsed on his bed.

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I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

Please review!


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